is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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