I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
