Im at strip club and am horny
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
