Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They took my balls.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
