I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
