did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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