Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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