My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
