Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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