we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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