Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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