White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
