just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
