The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
