but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
