lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
