Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
