he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
