I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
