my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
