vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
