Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Holy shit dude........stairs
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