Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
