she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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