you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
whose parrot is this?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize