So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
