If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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