So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
