i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize