so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I forget how to act sober
Randomize