He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
wow bdsm is so cute
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