the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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