Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
