The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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