The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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