i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?