just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
