Sry I called you an 8
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
