I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
