but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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