after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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