I can text with my tongue
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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