Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
