Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I faked an abortion last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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