So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
