I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
