Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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