With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like eating out sand paper
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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