He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
