I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
