You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
