the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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