I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
