so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
