She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sarcasm needs its own font
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
