bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
