You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
