ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
