I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
