this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
