He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
