Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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