My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
