she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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