i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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