office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
